Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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