like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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