i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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