What a fucking waste of an outfit
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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