why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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