You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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