I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize