I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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