I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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