Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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