I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize