Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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