you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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