If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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