Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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