You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize