Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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