I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize