i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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