theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize