I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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