Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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