I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize