if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize