Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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