I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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