no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize