So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize