Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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