this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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