He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize