I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
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and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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