***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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