We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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