just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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