She's JV to your varsity
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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