your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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