hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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