I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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