I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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