Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize