i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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