dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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