your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize