ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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