I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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