i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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