which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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