I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Found your dick twin last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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