we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
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I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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